Hangry. So very angry.

Today I’m an anxious ball of anger. I haven’t figured out where it’s come from, but it could be I only had two drinks last night. So tomorrow may be worse because I had none tonight.

Minor victory, I chose chocolate milk over alcohol tonight. Or as I call it, coloured cow. Cos it’s yum.

I went to the gym again, and I’m sore. Tomorrow will hurt that way, but I’m sure it is a sign of better things to come.

Two weeks without a drink and ill reward myself with a massage. Ill quit smoking once I get down to one a day. I’m on about 5-8 most days now, and aiming for 3 tomorrow. I won’t beat myself up if I have more but I think that’s all that’s left anyway, and I refuse to buy anymore. It’s too expensive now! If I thinking about smoking after I finish that pack, maybe I should make a note and add the tally for that day as one dollar per craving to my savings. That’s an interesting way of doing it! And maybe five per drink craving I ignore successfully?

Sounds good to me. I’m dying of tired now, so I’m going to stop whining at the Internet and sleep.
God I love autocorrect some times.


I’m no quitter!

My quitting smoking and drinking are both off to a bad start. I’m sitting on the steps smoking with a cider in hand.

Sitting at work closing, I couldn’t stop the craving for a drink and gave in. Then I needed more. I stopped at one more drink, but could easily have gone further. It doesn’t make me feel any better knowing I stopped, just pathetic for giving in to a craving. Maybe giving up two emotional crutches at once was a bad idea. I just feel so confused about it. I know it’s silly, but I’m just wandering in a state of not quite knowing.