I’m no quitter!

My quitting smoking and drinking are both off to a bad start. I’m sitting on the steps smoking with a cider in hand.

Sitting at work closing, I couldn’t stop the craving for a drink and gave in. Then I needed more. I stopped at one more drink, but could easily have gone further. It doesn’t make me feel any better knowing I stopped, just pathetic for giving in to a craving. Maybe giving up two emotional crutches at once was a bad idea. I just feel so confused about it. I know it’s silly, but I’m just wandering in a state of not quite knowing.

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