Hangry. So very angry.

Today I’m an anxious ball of anger. I haven’t figured out where it’s come from, but it could be I only had two drinks last night. So tomorrow may be worse because I had none tonight.

Minor victory, I chose chocolate milk over alcohol tonight. Or as I call it, coloured cow. Cos it’s yum.

I went to the gym again, and I’m sore. Tomorrow will hurt that way, but I’m sure it is a sign of better things to come.

Two weeks without a drink and ill reward myself with a massage. Ill quit smoking once I get down to one a day. I’m on about 5-8 most days now, and aiming for 3 tomorrow. I won’t beat myself up if I have more but I think that’s all that’s left anyway, and I refuse to buy anymore. It’s too expensive now! If I thinking about smoking after I finish that pack, maybe I should make a note and add the tally for that day as one dollar per craving to my savings. That’s an interesting way of doing it! And maybe five per drink craving I ignore successfully?

Sounds good to me. I’m dying of tired now, so I’m going to stop whining at the Internet and sleep.
God I love autocorrect some times.

I’m no quitter!

My quitting smoking and drinking are both off to a bad start. I’m sitting on the steps smoking with a cider in hand.

Sitting at work closing, I couldn’t stop the craving for a drink and gave in. Then I needed more. I stopped at one more drink, but could easily have gone further. It doesn’t make me feel any better knowing I stopped, just pathetic for giving in to a craving. Maybe giving up two emotional crutches at once was a bad idea. I just feel so confused about it. I know it’s silly, but I’m just wandering in a state of not quite knowing.

I’m a lazy blogger

I thought I’d be good at blogging.
Turns out I’m now.

So what happened since my post?
He is off to Canada on Monday to go snow boarding, and we have spent every weekend together and talk every day and text a fair bit. I miss him like crazy, so lets see how a month apart will go…

Since I last posted, I’ve had a fair bit of upheaval. With the realisation my drinking was getting out of hand, I finally admitted I have a problem. I’m taking steps to fix that, and I’m going to stop drinking entirely very soon.

I went back to the gym after a fair bit of time off due to a ligament tear in my knee. Whoops. Guess I won’t try that again. Small steps, because I want to get back in to running again.

Ill try to post more often, mostly so I can see how things are going. But now it’s bed time. Aka I’m late to bed as usual.